28th of September, 2011
STEPH:
Reike baby!
I couldn’t help but think you sounded really quite bittersweet and lonely in your last email, so I resolved to write back to you as soon as possible. I know you tried to sound cheery, but there was an undertone to it all which made me feel very sad for you. In fact, I wanted to jump straight on a plane and come and give you a big cuddle. I even looked up the flight prices on the internet, just to see if there was even a vague chance of managing it! Sadly £500 is a little bit beyond me haha. Still, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a little bit of time to yourself! You’re basically doing the opposite of Eat Pray Love, aren’t you? Not that I’ve seen the movie, but yknow… ;) It’s like you’ve tottered off to America after travelling around for a bit, and have gone West (instead of East!) to find yourself, immerse yourself in art and a brand new culture, and learn lots of nice things from your lectures and books. I think that’s rather nice, you know. Also, you can buy Lucky Charms in America, and you can’t over here. And that is quite literally the best cereal ever. Containing a spectacular number of additives and synthetic things to make you hyper. Which is never a bad thing, a mon avis.
Anyway, I wouldn’t worry too much about not making friends. I imagine feeling a little bit lonely is hard, but a lot of people travel alone. I know Imo had a fantastic time in Singapore, and she was essentially on her own for more like 6 months there. Though you don’t often make close friends when you’re in and out of different places all the time (I really do feel for you there, by the way baby. But never forget that lots of hugs and kisses are coming from your friends across the pond)…erm…ok those parentheses were too long, I can’t remember what I was saying…oh yes: though it may be very difficult to make close friends, I think you should focus more on the faces you’re just beginning to recognise, and the interesting conversations you can have with complete strangers. It’s absolutely fascinating talking to someone you’re just getting to know, who’s full of new stories and funny anecdotes which you’ve never heard before, don’t you think? I found myself feeling very jealous when we dropped Mads off at Aston at the weekend for her freshers year, purely because of all the new people she’s going to get to meet and talk to! It’s great! Also, you’re only there for three months, so even if you were to find yourself a soulmate bestie or three, it’d be much more painful to leave (and probably never see again) a close friend than a group of really lovely acquaintances, wouldn’t it? I really hope you’re not feeling too down about it baby. And if you are, you’re a third of the way through already, so you really don’t have too far left to go!
Oh, I just remembered, you asked me what my perceptions of Texans were? Well…without meaning to be offensive, I did have several images of cowboy hats and ranches, and lots of Bible bashing lunatics who talk like the people out of True Blood….is that what you were thinking of too? I’d be interested to see what you actually found!
Also, how are you finding the American food? Have you had your first HAAAAYMBURGER yet? Don’t forget to go to Dunkin’ Donuts by the way. It’s probably shit, but when we went to America when I was eight years old I thought it was the best place ever after we went there for breakfast!
I’m saddened but weirdly happy to hear your news about Jannes, because it’s obvious that you really know your own mind where your relationship is concerned, which is really good news. Obviously all this time to think is paying off! I didn’t quite understand if you’ve already ended it or not from your email, but it definitely seems like that was your conclusion. It’s a shame that you feel so held back by him, but you’ve been together a while now and the simple statement of “I do like him very much, but-“ screams out to me that you don’t want to be with him. Feeling too young for such a commitment also says to me that you’re not ready to settle down with someone, certainly not enough for a long-distance relationship. Either way, I’m very glad you’ve made such concrete conclusions in your mind, as it’s a very rare ability for somebody as young as we are to understand ourselves that well! Clever Reike.
On the subject of Durham, I go up this weekend (1st of October), and I can’t wait! To explain about houses, Durham is a weird kind of University, as it isn’t a campus university, but all of the faculties and teaching places are dotted around the city, although most of the science ones are on a big modern science site with lots of lecture halls and labs and the library on it, which does feel more like a campus as it’s all in one place. Residential halls here are replaced with colleges, like at Oxford and Cambridge, and in order to apply to the university you have to choose a college first and apply via that. You aren’t taught in the college though, you just eat and sleep there and there’s a bar and stuff like that – pretty much the same as most halls at other unis. Some colleges offer accommodation for all 3 years that you’re there, but most people choose to move out to a rented house in Durham for second and third year. My house is a lot closer to the town centre than the college, right opposite my lecture halls, which means I can quite literally roll out of bed and into lectures! Oh, and my landlord is called Mr Sultana and he owns a shop about 3 doors down which sells pot noodles and milk and newspapers and lots and lots of booze. Which we like! You’re still part of the college when you move out of it though, so you still take part in college-based activities, society things and formals. Formals are a bit like house dinners, except they take place a few times per term and everyone gets to bring a bottle of alarmingly cheap Tescos wine and get horrendously drunk as they have the whole bottle to themselves. FUN.)
All’s good with Calver though! We struggled a bit over the holidays, as we had to spend so long apart because he needed to revise for the resits. Nerves were stretched to breaking point so there were a lot of tears at my end and a lot of stress at his, but it paid off in the end because he passed both his retakes and isn’t going to get kicked out. THANK GOD. Although we worried unnecessarily after he took the exams, as he thought they’d gone really badly! I’ll never forgive him for making me worry that much, haha! Its amazing now though, like a massive weight’s been lifted off our shoulders, and we‘re both so much happier for it. Second year is obviously more demanding than first year in terms of workload so we won’t have as much free time to spend with each other, but I think that’s no bad thing. We’ll still have evenings and the whole weekend together, and appreciate our time much more because of it, I think! But yes, he really is the best boyf ever. We’re hoping to live together in third year as well, the only problem with that being the struggle to find other housemates who could bare to live with a couple! It may be a wee bit cringe for them. But to be fair, all our closest friends managed OK when we all lived together in college, so I doubt it’d be too much of an issue! I really can’t wait. I don’t mean to be bunny boiler-y, but I really could be with him forever. And ever :) And everrrrrrrrrrr.
Ok I’ll shut up now. I’ve been at home for too long, and trained out of talking about Calver for paragraphs on end! I mean I still do it, but only when I’m not concentrating. I’m still as bad as Imo was with David and Roy was with Christian…my every waking thought is Calver-based! Ridiculous. I am such a woman. Still, he makes me so happy, so I don’t care if I bore other people with stupid disconnected thoughts about him :) He is my best friend as well as my boyfriend, and I couldn’t ask for anything more.
Happy Effie!
Looking forward to hearing from you soon baby, I hope things get a little easier for you, and if not, I hope that it’s possible to drown your sorrows not with ethanol, but with e-numbers. Lucky charms aren’t banned in the UK for nothin’, you know!
SO much love and all my kisses,
Steph xxxxxxxxxxx <3
